There has been an unusually large amount of snow falling lately in my world, and I am a little alarmed to think that we aren't even halfway through winter yet. To further jangle my nerves, I read this morning a prediction from Environment Canada that this will be the longest and coldest winter in about a decade. Great. I am trying as best I can to see the beauty in it, not only the physical reality of the snow, but in the broader themes of Nature renewing herself, of Planet Earth behaving as it should...but it is a daily struggle, and I fear I am losing. Another mortifying detail from Environment Canada's announcement: Canada is the second-coldest country in the world. I'm assuming Russia is first. I don't know why this surprises; I don't know why the tiniest germ of panic took life at the discovery of this fact, in black ink. It's not like any of this was a secret. It's not like I haven't been noticing the looks of disbelief on Canadians' faces when they learn we left Los Angeles for Toronto. Indeed, I find myself pining for LA more in the winter than any other time. I barely think of it in the summer, and can even think of one or two moments I felt grateful not to be there anymore. But that was July. This is December, and I find myself endlessly checking the weather in LA. It rained there last week; but now it's gorgeous again. About a foot fell here last night.
Why am I so affected by the weather? Why is it so important to me? T loves this weather. Sure, he misses summer, but he has perspective: this is the weather now, it will change, more nice weather will come behind it, life continues notwithstanding. Where do I get this kind of perspective? I am considering the possibility that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD...I know, isn't it pathetic). One sees advertisements for light therapy boxes in the newspapers here, glowing tabletop orbs of sun-mimicking radiance. Sufferers spend 30 minutes or so a day sitting next to one, and allegedly have much less inclination to check the weather in Southern California 17 times before lunch. Price tags range from $150 to $300. I am considering a purchase. Or at the very least a test-bask.